Monthly Archives: March 2010

Don’t worry; be ha—OMG, I found a gray hair!!

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It’s that point in the semester again: my motivation has fallen into some unknown black abyss, and all I want to do is sleep my life away. I’m just weeks—that’s right, WEEKS!—away from graduating. Five freakin’ years I’ve dreamed about this moment, so you’d think I’d be more motivated, right? Nope. Like I said, sleep is about the only thing that sounds appealing right now. And for anyone who knows me, when sleep becomes my best friend, you know there’s a serious problem! I have so much to do: papers to write, tests to study for, Spanish grammar and vocab words to learn (ugh…that class kills!), and plenty of reading—my gosh, the reading!! But again, my ability to pay attention is…wait, what ability? My brain puppy [credit to Dr. Diede for that lovely term] has been wandering in every possible direction except for in the direction that he should go! And I, of course, haven’t helped the little guy by tugging on his leash and steering him in the right direction. Woops!

In other news, I’ve been investing most of my energy—what little energy I have—into job hunting. And let me tell you: maaaajor drag! But one must do what one must do. I’ve applied at a handful of places and, so far, received no replies. So we’ll see. I’m especially waiting to hear back from this music store at which I applied (Kennelly Keys). I’ve seriously had a desire to work there since I was 16, but the opportunity just never came up. Until now. I’m trying not to stress too much, but I am naturally a worrier. And, as the Mick Jagger song asserts, old habits die hard. Wholeheartedly trusting the Lord has never been one my strong points. So it’s difficult to pull a 180 and start now.

I don’t think I’ve ever missed my childhood as much as I currently do. Growing up kinda, sorta sucks! I miss those stress free playground days—you know, when your only worries involved getting picked for the “right” Capture the Flag team, or making it home before it got too dark. I’m sure when I’m old(er), I’ll think back to my “carefree” twenties, but I have to be honest, right now they don’t feel so carefree. Get this: I actually found a gray hair today. Yep. I told my brothers, and they laughed at me; they thought I was making it up. Why the heck would I make that up?! Again, I’m sure I’ll one day laugh at my current state, but at the moment, very little amuses me.

Okay, enough with the ranting, haha. I have to be honest, though: ranting always feels great. But, alas, the ranting must come to a halt, because the bottomless pile of homework awaits me. Groan. Better wear a helmet.

Female WWII Pilots Honored in Washington State

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Photo Credit: King 5 News

March is Women’s History Month. Heck yeah! The local news just did a special blurb on some female pilots from Washington State who flew during World War II but never received any recognition for their services…until now. I thought the story was incredibly inspiring/empowering, so I thought I’d share it HERE. I’m glad these ladies received the recognition they deserve!

On Evangelizing…or not evangelizing

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It’s not a religion; it’s a relationship.

How many times have you heard this once-witty-now-cliché statement? I swear, people—Christians—toss this one around like it’s a beach ball! I know I’m guilty of it.

I recently had a conversation with a friend about religion. It started out pretty harmless; she was asking about my parents’ arranged marriage and how the hell my parents ended up as a couple. So I gave her the reader’s digest version of my family’s history and my mom’s desire to marry a Christian…how my grandfather very sternly promised her that he’d disown her if she ever made that request again…and how he proceeded to find her a husband who was the farthest thing from a Christian: a Hindu priest in training. (Way to go, Grandpa!)

My friend then asked, “what’s the difference between Hindu and Christian beliefs? Don’t all religions have the same basic foundations of love and treating people how you want to be treated, etc?”

My initial thought was, “Yes.” Because she has a point if you really think about it. But the next thought that popped into my head was this: “It [Christianity] isn’t a religion; it’s a relationship.” And then I wanted to shoot myself, because I’m so flippin’ tired of hearing people say that! What does it even mean? I mean really?

The rest of our conversation consisted mostly of me rambling like an idiot about why I think Christianity is different from all other religions…but you know what? In that process of rambling, I realized how utterly pathetic I am when it comes to witnessing (with my words, I mean). Here I am: a Jesus-loving, Bible-believing, Christian school-attending, church-going person, and I don’t know how to witness. I don’t know how to tell someone my reasons for believing what I believe.

Why am I a Christian?

…because God is alive, and I see Him in the world around me.

…because He created me for the sole purpose of worshiping Him, and through worship, I can reach my full potential.

…because I’ve realized the incredible sacrifice that Jesus Christ has made for me.

…because life without an intimate relationship with Jesus is meaningless.

But seriously…how does one convey those ideas to someone who just doesn’t see Christianity as anything other than a religion? How DO you convince a person that Christianity truly is about a personal relationship with Jesus and not merely a list of ritualistic rules or dos and don’ts?

I have no idea. Honestly. I don’t.

I walked away from that conversation feeling rather miserable and wondering if I had failed God. Yeah, yeah, I know I didn’t fail God, but I couldn’t help feeling as though I had. And sure, I can pray for my friend to truly know Christ—for God to have a supernatural encounter with her that will leave her wanting nothing more in life than Jesus, and I will; I will pray. But here’s the thing: it really bothers me that we Christians have become so caught up in our Christian sub-culture…our Christian t-shirts, CDs, and bumper stickers, and our Christianized/sermonized/“Jesufied” church lingo that when it comes to talking to real people with real questions about faith, we just become tongue-tied. I’ve always had this pet-peeve, but this conversation was a fresh reminder of said annoyance.

Now, I know that God is ultimately the One who can speak to my friend’s heart. It’s ultimately not my witticism or excellent rhetoric (or in this case, lack thereof) that will change her mind about God or faith or Christianity or religion. But I still think we could be trying a lot harder. I’ve been at Bible college for five bloody years, and before that I was heavily involved at my church, my youth group, and my Christian school. But have I ever really learned how to explain my beliefs to someone who may be searching, or even just curious? I can’t say that I have.

It’s not a religion; it’s a relationship. While I believe that statement to be true, I still rather detest what it stands for, or the overall attitude behind it. And as far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t accomplish a whole lot in terms of practical evangelism. At least not in my experience.

So, fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, let me close this rant by asking you perhaps the simplest/most complicated question that exists: how do you tell people about your faith?

Patience is a Virtue

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…a virtue that I possess not, lol. I suppose I’m sometimes patient, but when it comes to things like waiting for my favorite band to release their new album (the one they’ve been talking about for months) … not so much.

This is for all you Delta Spirit fans who, like me, are probably growing a bit restless as you wait for the boys to release their much-anticipated album, History From Below. May seems so far away! But in the meantime, let’s keep rockin’ out to Delta’s old tunes.

Here’s a song that I’ve always loved, but for whatever reason, it didn’t make the cut for Ode to Sunshine (or maybe it hadn’t been written when they released that album). At any rate, I really hope it made the cut for the new record.

Bushwick Blues:


Dear Change

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Dear Change,

I have a confession to make:
I’ve been avoiding you.

I know you called the other day (again),
And sure enough, I didn’t answer.
But I guess the real truth is,
I didn’t want to answer.
Avoidance is so childish, so petty.
I know this already.
But here’s the truth:
I’m scared.

You freak me out.
You always call and tell me you’re coming over
When I’m not ready to host you.
And that makes me feel
Incredibly anxious.

And actually, I often find your spontaneity
Appalling.
It pisses me off.
YOU piss me off.

Then later I always feel terrible
For my attitude,
Because you always have
The best of intentions.
And the gifts you often bring are wonderful!
Strength, perseverance, courage, growth…

I know you’re not trying to harm me,
Nor are you trying to be rude
Or intrusive.
You’re actually trying to help me.
But I have a hard time
Understanding that.
What can I say?
I’m stubborn and thickheaded.
But you already know this.

I guess I just need to get my shit together.
I’m sorry for not already doing so.
Next time you call, I’ll try to be courageous;
I’ll try to answer.

Don’t give up on me, okay?
And don’t stop calling.
I do enjoy your company.
Just
Not all the time.
But let’s both do our part
To work something out.

Sincerely,
Me