It’s that point in the semester again: my motivation has fallen into some unknown black abyss, and all I want to do is sleep my life away. I’m just weeks—that’s right, WEEKS!—away from graduating. Five freakin’ years I’ve dreamed about this moment, so you’d think I’d be more motivated, right? Nope. Like I said, sleep is about the only thing that sounds appealing right now. And for anyone who knows me, when sleep becomes my best friend, you know there’s a serious problem! I have so much to do: papers to write, tests to study for, Spanish grammar and vocab words to learn (ugh…that class kills!), and plenty of reading—my gosh, the reading!! But again, my ability to pay attention is…wait, what ability? My brain puppy [credit to Dr. Diede for that lovely term] has been wandering in every possible direction except for in the direction that he should go! And I, of course, haven’t helped the little guy by tugging on his leash and steering him in the right direction. Woops!
In other news, I’ve been investing most of my energy—what little energy I have—into job hunting. And let me tell you: maaaajor drag! But one must do what one must do. I’ve applied at a handful of places and, so far, received no replies. So we’ll see. I’m especially waiting to hear back from this music store at which I applied (Kennelly Keys). I’ve seriously had a desire to work there since I was 16, but the opportunity just never came up. Until now. I’m trying not to stress too much, but I am naturally a worrier. And, as the Mick Jagger song asserts, old habits die hard. Wholeheartedly trusting the Lord has never been one my strong points. So it’s difficult to pull a 180 and start now.
I don’t think I’ve ever missed my childhood as much as I currently do. Growing up kinda, sorta sucks! I miss those stress free playground days—you know, when your only worries involved getting picked for the “right” Capture the Flag team, or making it home before it got too dark. I’m sure when I’m old(er), I’ll think back to my “carefree” twenties, but I have to be honest, right now they don’t feel so carefree. Get this: I actually found a gray hair today. Yep. I told my brothers, and they laughed at me; they thought I was making it up. Why the heck would I make that up?! Again, I’m sure I’ll one day laugh at my current state, but at the moment, very little amuses me.
Okay, enough with the ranting, haha. I have to be honest, though: ranting always feels great. But, alas, the ranting must come to a halt, because the bottomless pile of homework awaits me. Groan. Better wear a helmet.